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It's really hard to try to do well when I have nothing to strive for. I guess my prime example for this is school, because I spend way too much fucking time there. There's like 30 days left of this shit, and I am surprised that I still even bring a backpack to school with me anymore. I haven't had homework for the past three weeks; I haven't payed attention in class for the past 2 months; I haven't attempted to care for the entire year. It's so horrible though, because knowing that the next month and a half doesn't count has caused me to completely give up in everything that I used to want to do well in. Every night, I find myself wondering if I should go on my computer, or read a book . . . and I always choose going on my computer. This attitude really shows a lot about my nature, and the nature of practically every other teenager who's going through something that is about to reach it's ending point. We try only when we know that we may get a reward, some sort of recognition, if we truly love what we are doing or if we are dealing with a life or death situation. Shouldn't we always want to do our best? Yes. Is that the case? No. FUCK NO.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
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